However strong your relationship is, moving abroad can put a strain on even the most solid partnership. And if Australia is your destination - halfway around the world no less - then understandably tensions will rise during the relocation process.
The most common reasons for moving abroad often involve one partner being offered a job, or an opportunity they can't turn down. This means that the other person is often left feeling as though they have no say, or are losing out by making the move. Coupled with this the fact that during the relocation process there is so much going on in a short space of time, it's not surprising there will be a lot of stress. Factors such as where to live, working out a budget, putting the children into new schools and leaving behind friends and family - along with fear, tiredness, stress and excitement - all combine together to equal a potentially rocky time ahead.
So how do you make sure that your relationship
survives the move?
First things first: it’s important to talk about how you are both
feeling. It’s much better to talk it through before you leave home. Once you're on the way, and when you arrive in your new destination, there will be such
a whirlwind of emotions and new experiences that any lingering doubts and issues
will quickly spiral into something much worse. Talk through the things which
worry each of you, and make a plan for how you will both help each other to
deal with this. By regularly checking in with each other, you can make sure any potential issues are dealt with as they arise; not when it's too late to do anything.
It also goes without saying to research your new destination thoroughly before you
arrive. By knowing a little bit about the local culture and the types of activities there are in the area, you can arrive with a clearer idea of how you'll settle in and make friends. If one of you is starting a new job, there may be the opportunity to talk to someone else who works in the same place, so you will automatically know someone as soon as you arrive.
Try to immerse yourself in the local culture, and become involved in it as soon as possible after you arrive. This
will not only help you to adapt, but you will be accepted into your community
much more quickly. Have a barbecue and invite your neighbours for example - everyone loves a chance to socialise!
Make sure that you look after each other and are aware of how you're both coping. If one partner is at
work all day, surrounded by new colleagues, it can be easy to forget that the
other person at home can be feeling socially isolated. Invite them along to work events or after-hours drinks, and try and do things together as much as possible outside of working hours.
Moving abroad with your partner can and will be a stressful time for everyone involved. But as long as you maintain communication and talk through any problems before they escalate then you'll be ready to start a new life in the sun together.
Helen Lock